One of the most common—and challenging—parts of serving in Preschool Ministry is navigating separation anxiety. Whether you’re a teacher or a parent, chances are you’ve experienced it: the tears, the clinginess, the heartbreaking drop-off moments that leave everyone feeling a little unsettled.
Separation anxiety is a completely normal developmental phase. It’s defined as the stress or fear a young child experiences when separated from a parent or primary caregiver. Most children go through it at some point before age four, and it often comes in waves—a child who’s been content for weeks may suddenly have a tough Sunday morning saying goodbye.
And while separation anxiety is hard on everyone—the child, the parent, and the teacher—it’s often hardest on moms, who walk away with heavy hearts and ears full of tiny cries.
Why Preschool Ministry Matters
The heart of Preschool Ministry is to create a safe, loving environment where children begin learning gospel truths, while parents can fully participate in the worship service—free from distraction and worry. When a parent is confident their child is being cared for well, they can turn their heart and mind toward worship.
So how can we, as volunteers and leaders, help ease this process and love families well?
5 Ways Preschool Volunteers Can Help Ease Separation Anxiety:
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Pray Often and Intentionally
Pray for the children in your ministry and their families. Let parents know you’re praying. (Personal note: When my son struggled with drop-off, one of our elder’s wives would quietly pray for me in the hallway each week—it meant so much.)
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Know Their Names and Faces
Greet every child warmly and by name. A consistent, familiar face at check-in can make a huge difference. Kids feel more secure when they recognize their caregivers.
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Have Calming “Go-To” Activities Ready
Create a welcoming atmosphere with predictable and calming activities. Blowing bubbles, dancing to music, rolling playdough, snuggling with a teacher while singing a quiet song—these simple tools go a long way in helping kids feel at ease.
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Communicate Clearly and Compassionately with Parents
Extend grace and empathy while maintaining policies (e.g., parents don’t stay in the classroom). Ask parents what helps their child and share your own plan: “We’ll give it 5–10 minutes and call you if needed.” Assure them that you’ll also text them when their child settles. Consider printing a handout of helpful tips (like the list below!) so parents feel supported and prepared.
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Be Set Up and Ready at Drop-Off
Have your space clean, inviting, and ready for the first child to arrive. Make sure there’s a clear path for parents to drop off and head to worship without added chaos or confusion.
Remember: Helping a family walk through separation anxiety well is not just a logistical task—it’s an act of ministry. You’re caring not only for little hearts but for the hearts of weary parents who need space to hear God’s Word and be renewed.
Equipping Parents: Encouragement and Tools that Help
One of the best ways you can support families is by normalizing the experience and equipping parents with simple, effective strategies. The more confident and calm parents feel, the more confident their children will feel too.
Here are some helpful tips to pass along to families in your ministry (also available in a downloadable resource):
10 Tips for Parents Navigating Separation Anxiety
- Be Consistent – Make church a regular, predictable part of your weekly rhythm.
- Prepare for Sunday Throughout the Week – Talk about church at home, sing familiar songs, and build anticipation.
- Arrive On Time, Well-Fed, and Happy – A smooth start makes a huge difference.
- Remember This Phase is Normal – Don’t panic—it’s a healthy part of child development.
- Help Your Child Make Friends at Church – Familiar faces make everything easier.
- Make a Plan and Communicate It – Let your child and teacher know what to expect.
- Develop a Special Goodbye Routine – A fun or simple ritual brings comfort and consistency.
- Leave Without Drama – Keep goodbyes short, kind, and confident.
- Leave Completely – Avoid hovering near the door—trust your teachers.
- Pray – Commit this phase to God, knowing He is growing your child (and you) through it.
Separation anxiety doesn’t last forever—but your love, your patience, and your Christlike care in those difficult moments can leave a lasting impact. Let’s keep creating classrooms where kids feel safe, parents feel supported, and everyone hears the good news of Jesus—week after week.
Here is a printed handout you can share with parents: